Hereditary

All we’ve heard is how amazing this film is, and Toni Collette is perhaps my favorite living actress who is not Glenda Jackson, and here she gets to carry a whole movie! And it looked like it had a lot of good parts, and I’m happy to see anything where the horror is quiet and…

Avengers: Infinity War

I’m not saying that it’s amazing for being an action movie, I’m saying it’s amazing and unprecedented as a huge exercise in accumulated meaning.

Ready Player One

Hey there, it’s me. I’m alive! I’m just having trouble motivating myself to write movie reviews, especially when the films are such snores. What I am doing is a) preparing to move once again (it’s been real, Chicago) and b) writing Arthurian fiction (getting Book 2 out, which lays all of my existential pondering across…

The Cloverfield Paradox

So here’s that movie, the one where the trailer debuted during the superbowl, and the full movie was live on Netflix immediately after, making it out to be some kind of “event.” Then it got awful reviews everywhere, making the real story how Paramount ditched their shit film and how dumb Netflix got suckered into…

The Shape of Water

I just don’t really respond to the work of Guillermo Del Toro. There was some bit of mood-over-story issue that made me hate Pan’s Labyrinth (can’t remember what it was now) and the two Hellboy films are absolute garbage, as are Pacific Rim and let’s not overlook the godawful Crimson Peak. That last film made…

The Last Jedi: Second Viewing

Hey, it’s me! I’m alive, though you may not have been able to tell. Just here, desperately looking for a job. That old Maslow’s basic needs hierarchy is keeping YOU from enjoying movie reviews. But certain social issues must be addressed, such as whether Last Jedi is good or bad. Sure, I’ve seen Call Me…